


16 Weddings for Tim

by epicmusic42



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Group Marriage, I honestly have no clue how to tag this, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Other, Polyamorous Mechanisms (The Mechanisms), Trans Character, genderfluid gunpowder tim, just. it's a bunch of times tim got married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25419811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicmusic42/pseuds/epicmusic42
Summary: Despite what people may have expected, the Mechanisms did observe some common societal traditions - and not only those that they individually couldn’t quite shake.One of these things was marriage.To be fair, the Mechanisms did not observe marriage in a particularly common manner. Their observance of it could also be traced to one (or two) members of the crew in particular.Timlikedbeing married, you see. He (or ze or she or occasionally ae) enjoyed being able to point at someone and say that that was his spouse. He took great pleasure in catching sight of a ring someone picked out particularly for him on his left hand. He felt a thrill of excitement every time he signed his name as something more than Timothy.
Relationships: Ashes O'Reilly/Gunpowder Tim, Bertie/Gunpowder Tim (The Mechanisms), Drumbot Brian/Gunpowder Tim, Gunpowder Tim & Nastya Rasputina, Gunpowder Tim/The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms), Ivy Alexandria/Gunpowder Tim, Jonny d'Ville/Ashes O'Reilly/Gunpowder Tim, Jonny d'Ville/Gunpowder Tim, Lyfrassir Edda/Gunpowder Tim, Marius von Raum/Gunpowder Tim, Polyamorous Mechanisms, Raphaella la Cognizi/Gunpowder Tim, The Aurora/Gunpowder Tim
Comments: 67
Kudos: 150





	1. Prologue

Despite what people may have expected, the Mechanisms did observe some common societal traditions - and not only those that they individually couldn’t quite shake.

One of these things was marriage.

To be fair, the Mechanisms did not observe marriage in a particularly common manner. Their observance of it could also be traced to one (or two) members of the crew in particular.

Tim  _ liked _ being married, you see. He (or ze or she or occasionally ae) enjoyed being able to point at someone and say that that was his spouse. He took great pleasure in catching sight of a ring someone picked out particularly for him on his left hand. He felt a thrill of excitement every time he signed his name as something more than Timothy. 

(He refused to acknowledge that he had once had another name besides Gunpowder. He did not choose it and had not used it since long before even the Lunar War).

The rest of the crew of the starship Aurora may not have discovered this right away, however, they had long since taken to it with all the enthusiasm they took to bloodshed.

They even had a competition regarding it.

Tim was the only one who actively preferred to be married. While some of the others probably were married nearly as often as he was, none of them were ever particularly fussed to spend time on a planet unmarried. 

Even if he knew it wasn’t a slight against him or anything of the sort, Tim still found himself inevitably somewhat adrift when he wasn’t. For him, there was something innately grounding about knowing everyone around him recognized him as a part of a set.

That is not to say Tim felt unwhole without a marriage. On the contrary, he spent more time unmarried than he did married.

It was still rather recent that he had begun keeping any of his marriages when he left a planet. For most of his long, long,  _ long _ life, Tim had been quite content with merely maintaining his relationships with each crew member in turn. He hadn’t been any more fussed about something to confirm or represent those relationships than the rest of the crew had.

Something about being on planet made him crave for  _ just one _ person to be recognized as his, and he as theirs, however. If it could be more than one person even better.

Of course, even if most planets were willing to recognize polyamory, they did so in the manner of allowing triads or, less common than Tim personally thought it should be, polycules. Few planets would issue licenses wherein one party could be married to multiple other parties without said parties having to also be married. Given the more common...beliefs of those planets that did, the Mechanisms rarely stayed long enough to do more than arrange for Ashes and Tim to destroy it.

All this goes to say, that upon landing on a new planet and deciding to spend an extended period of time there, one of the Mechanisms' first orders of business was determining who would receive the honour of Tim’s hand in marriage - if only for the first of several marriages.

The form of this competition did vary from planet to planet. However, it does have a tendency to end up being nothing more than a fight to the last crew member (aside from Tim) standing.

Of course, there are occasions wherein the competition is forgone entirely. These, however, are most often limited to times when someone has made plans that are time limited or otherwise require that they win...and take the time to propose to Tim  _ prior _ to the competition beginning.

If Tim were to be entirely honest however, his favourite part about being married is not being married. It would be the weddings, and the wedding nights.

He had been married more times than he could count at this point. However, there were a few that stood out in his mind.


	2. Aurora and Lyfrassir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced possessive behavior kinda  
> \- implied/referenced violence/murder competition for Tim's hand

**The Time Aurora Borrowed Brian's Body (For Her):**

The time Aurora borrowed Brian's body for Tim had been a wonderful honeymoon. He never did get an explanation as to what exactly had been worked out, but Brian had had some sort of conversation with Nastya while they were waiting to disembark, then walked over and asked permission to pick Tim up.

This was fairly soon after he had banned Ashes and Jonny from marrying her at the same time so she hadn't been too surprised. What had surprised her had been Nastya showing up with rings once they got to the court house.

Nastya wasn't opposed to the weddings, Tim was pretty sure that she was the one who's first asked about Aurora borrowing Brian's body so they could get married on planets that didn't recognize AI/human marriages. Normally Nastya didn't care to show up to any marriages besides her own though.

Despite this, Nastya had appeared with the rings and handed them over with a quick kiss to his cheek, saying “come find me when you send Tim back to her other spouses, love.”

Tim had felt like an idiot for not catching on before then.

He still had the rings. Just simple matching silver bands, but it was the first time Aurora and he had gotten married and his metamaur and picked them out so he wasn’t about to let them go.

Brian alone would have been a very intimate honeymoon. Aurora had already proved that she was an incredibly intense lover. Whether Aurora had been planning this for a while or not, Tim didn't know. But Aurora using Brian's body had turned out to be one of the most exhausting (and rewarding) honeymoons she'd had.

* * *

**The Time Lyfrassir Stole Him:**

Tim’s eighth favorite honeymoon and tenth favourite wedding was the time Lyf had stolen him. Which was hilarious in retrospect given that no one had realized until they had already signed the papers. 

Lyfrassir's eldritchness had made walking out with Tim a simple matter, though whether they'd bothered to use them was up for debate. Those same eldritch powers made for a rather overwhelming honeymoon. Come to think of it, that's probably why Lyf hadn't shown him the tentacles beforehand.

The official wedding hadn’t been that memorable, just a simple discussion and signing of papers. It had honestly disappointed Tim some. Lyf had apparently been making plans though.

They’d bought a penthouse before the crew had even landed and had it furnished for two. A bottle of champagne had been delivered to the flat along with a romantic dinner and plethora of candles just moments after they’d arrived.

It was after dinner that Tim had found out why Lyfrassir had been so blase about the wedding. For them, the paperwork had no bearing on their marriage.

That night Lyfrassir gave Tim a beautiful set of hand carved beads and ribbons. At the same time they presented him with a hair brush and invited him to take down their hair.

He hadn’t fully understood what that meant, though he had managed to work out that the braids were as much clothing to Lyf as their actual clothing. He’d always figured that they were very particular about their hair and that’s why they wouldn’t let anyone else touch it hardly.

Tim would later find out that both Ivy and Raphaella had been allowed to put braids in before, but at the time Marius was the only one he was aware of who’d been given permission to mess with Lyfrassir’s hair. He may have been allowed to by that time, but Lyfrassir had nearly shot Marius for touching it before. They had shot Jonny the one time he’d tried to fix it for them.

Once he’d undone all of the braids except one Lyf had stopped him. Considering the last braid had been the one that Marius bore a match to, Tim really should have taken the hint.

Lyf had kissed him though so Tim hadn’t really had time to give it thought. After a few moments Lyf had pulled back to ask if he had any requests. When Tim had responded no, they’d just smirked.

Tim had been pushed through a portal to land on the bed with Lyfrassir on top of him. They’d manifested their tentacles and pinned Tim to the bed before he’d finished processing the smirk.

Kisses had been pressed along his jaw all the way up to his ear before they whispered, “would you like to find out just how much you can take then, husband mine?”

Tim was not ashamed to admit he’d all but blue screened at that. Lyf was not a particularly open person in the first place and had barely begun to do more than flirt with most of the crew. Tim hadn’t even had to debate whether or not he was okay with fucking them before he married them.

He’d said yes, of course.

Lyfrassir had proven an incredibly considerate lover. They had brought him to the brink more times than he could count that night. And managed to actually give him more than he was sure he could handle.

The next morning Tim had woken to Lyfrassir playing with his hair. A tray with several covered dishes was sitting on the bed beside them. Eldritch magic apparently meant they could prepare him breakfast without worry as to when he’d wake.

The breakfast they’d made him was a bit eclectic, blood sausages alongside smoked fish, rolled flatbreads filled with jam and honey against toast with beans, creamy porridge with thick cut bacon and tart berries. As they ate Lyf had explained the importance of each of the dishes he didn’t recognize and a few he did.

The small bowl of preserved fish that reeked and Tim had found extremely unpleasant was traditionally for virility, though in the modern day it generally was included for good fortune. The pudding with peppers and fruit was for happiness. The two bites of simple porridge they both needed to take before adding anything was for contentment and even tempers.

The dishes Lyf didn’t explain were all ones Tim knew well from his own childhood. When he’d asked about them, Lyf had blushed and ducked their head. Before making plans they’d apparently asked Ivy to make them a list of what breakfast foods would likely be traditional for Tim.

He’d been struck speechless as he realized the effort Lyfrassir had gone to to include his culture in their marriage. Once he’d recovered he told them a story about each of the foods they’d prepared him that he grew up with.

Afterwards, they’d taught him how to weave a Midgardian marriage braid. His had gone into their own hair beside Marius’s, theirs had taken its own place at his left temple.

Lyfrassir had spent the next two weeks lavishing him in attention and gifts. At the end of their honeymoon they’d told Tim that they understood that marriage wasn’t quite the same for him as it was for them. As long as he wore their braid they’d be proud to wear his though.

Tim didn’t wear their braid too often. He didn’t want to risk the beads and ribbons Lyf had given him though he had been assured on several occasions that the plait used was what made it a marriage braid not the decorations.

Still, it felt wrong to wear a symbol of his marriage with Lyf and nothing for the rest of his partners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working to get the rest finished and will hopefully have another chapter up by this weekend.
> 
> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
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> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
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> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	3. Ivy, Marius, and The Toy Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced possessive behavior kinda  
> \- implied/referenced violence/murder competition for Tim's hand  
> \- implied/referenced familial issues

**The Time Ivy Decided He Needed Lessons:**

Ivy's decision that he needed etiquette lessons had actually come several years into a stay on a planet. Brian had won that time and they'd had a perfectly lovely ceremony. He still had the ring Brian got him as well as one of the garters he wore.

A few years later though, Brian had gotten involved in a rebellion and Tim hadn't been itching for violence so he'd wondered off to find wherever Ashes and Jonny had set up shop. Some how or another he'd ended up insulting 3 librarians, a god-lord-thing, and, most importantly, _Ivy_.

Ivy's disgust at his actions had resulted in 6 months of being lectured before someone had asked that she find a job for him if he was staying. Well, Tim had _thought_ that was what they'd said anyways. Somehow it had translated to Ivy deciding the only way to teach him basic etiquette was to make it vital to a wedding though so he was probably wrong.

Two years, hundreds of lessons, plenty of taste testing, fittings, and highly confusing discussions about napkin shapes later, and he and Ivy got married.

It was one of the largest weddings he'd had, and most extravagant. Made it perfect for bringing up when he wanted to be spoiled.

He couldn’t actually remember most of the details by their first anniversary. That honeymoon had been more explosive than he’d ever have expected Ivy to agree to - let alone initiate.

It wasn’t that he had an issue with it or anything. It was actually quite nice - and to clarify, when he says explosive he means literal explosives, not euphemisms.

Somehow or another Ivy had ended up deciding that a “so-called library” needed to be destroyed. He was too scared to ask what they did, but Ivy had mentioned something about “historical inaccuracies” and “propaganda” when they’d met up with Raphaella a few months later.

Between that and him getting to die between her thighs no less than 12 times in a row, it was a rather enjoyable honeymoon, he thought.

* * *

**The Time Marius Took Him Home:**

The time Marius took him home would always rank as one of his favourites if for no other reason than how nice it was to be shown off like that.

Marius had approached him about a week before they arrived on planet. He hadn’t seemed too uncomfortable, but hadn’t been entirely comfortable either. He’d asked permission to steal Tim away before the fighting started in too earnestly. Tim had agreed, and resisted the urge to question Marius about it.

Marius enjoyed the fighting and competition more than he enjoyed marrying Tim, he was fairly certain. For Marius to not only make plans ahead of time, but ask Tim to ignore the competition and just go with him was exceedingly unusual. Tim had wondered what had come up that he was doing so.

It turned out that it was less that something had come up or happened and more that Brian and Aurora had pulled off a miracle. They landed a few months after Marius had left home for the last time.

Time shenanigans aside, they landed on Marius’s home planet five months after he told his brother good-bye and left for his apprenticeship. Two days before Marius would leave the system in a lifepod bound and gagged. Three years before he would become a Mechanism.

Marius had escorted Tim to a courthouse where he’d filed paperwork with a flourish and self-important attitude Tim had never seen him flaunt before. From there he’d insisted on showering Tim in precious jewels and fine fabrics.

When Tim had questioned him about why he felt it was so important that Tim look the part of a princess when Tim knew he preferred the way Tim looked in his synthleather and buckles, he’d admitted his plan.

Even if Marius didn’t hold any true love for his brother, he still wanted to take the opportunity to say goodbye - properly. He also wanted the chance to introduce at least one of his loves to his brother and since Tim enjoyed being married he thought he would like to meet Marius’s family. (The fact that Tim was the only one who he felt safe bringing home to meet his brother was another story).

Tim hadn’t had any objections of course.

He was surprised, sure. He would have expected that Marius would want to introduce Raphaella or Ivy as his wife even before he would care to consider that Tim might wish to meet his family.

(Even if Marius never explained why, Tim had worked it out after they had dinner with one _Baron Erasmus von Weltraum_...alongside just where some of Marius’s insecurities came from).

Temptation to murder Marius’s brother aside, Tim had had a lovely time getting to know his husband in the more biblical sense at the same time he discovered Marius’s childhood home. If he’d gotten to bring home the secret that Marius would turn into a bit of a blushing mess when he was called Byron then that wasn’t anyone else’s business.

...Getting the explanation about why he preferred to go by Marius when he was perfectly comfortable, and in a way seemed to prefer, Byron was others business seeing as he had to recruit Ivy to and answer.

* * *

**The Time the Toy Soldier Shared its Plans:**

If Tim hadn’t already picked up on how much more real the Toy Soldier was than the majority of the Mechanisms tended to pretend, its enthusiasm when planning him a wedding would have brought the fact to light.

The Toy Soldier planned a great deal of weddings for Tim. Since the first time it had shared its plans, Tim had successfully secured its help on numerous occasions to make his wedding spectacular.

(It seemed to be closer to human and farther from clockwork when it had opportunities to be involved in something less likely to leave it injured; the excitement it showed about involvement in such things made him question how it might perceive the world).

TS had always participated in the competition for Tim’s hand, but it had been a very long time before it had won. It had seemed almost startled when it turned around to find Tim the only other member of the crew still standing.

It had acted flustered when he asked it if it had any plans or if they should just head down to the whatever passed for a courthouse here.

“I Have Many Wedding Plans For You Master-at-Arms Gunpowder Tim! I Will Get Them Now So You Can See!”

The notes that TS had were enough to, and clearly showed that it had, plan a thousand weddings or more.

The swatch book it had gotten from Tim’s favourite tailor was used to ensure that it had selected the best fabrics. (Tim still had the book, of course. It was kept in between the flower crowns from his second wedding and the corsage from the first time Jonny proposed).

It also had a list of his preferred cake flavouring and frosting. He’d had to explain why he preferred a plain pound with white frosting for his wedding cakes despite hating it any other time. Once he’d explained the part of his heart the traditions he kept held, it had gone about ordering a traditional wedding cake for him with all of its usual enthusiasm.

It had plenty of notes and made arrangements for him to be fitted for a gorgeous mermaid dress with a frankly ridiculous train as well as a replication of his uniform from the Lunar War. In the end he’d decided to wear the dress, if only because the uniform made his chest ache more than he was willing to bear on his wedding day.

Both outfits had their own stand in his storage room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that the hints towards Marius's backstory disagree with the bits of his canon that Kofi has shared. I wrote Marius's section like...3 weeks ago mostly and am not rewriting it so it at least agrees with Marius not knowing his own past.
> 
> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
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> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
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> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	4. Raphaella and Brian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced possessive behavior kinda  
> \- implied/referenced violence/murder competition for Tim's hand  
> \- implied/referenced dysfunctional relationship

**The Time Raphaella Bought Him a Castle:**

Raphaella and Tim were both too easily distracted for their marriages to last particularly long. Raphaella’s inclination towards Science did make for some spectacular wedding nights (and following months) though.

Tim’s favourite honeymoon with Raphaella was definitely the time she bought her a castle. Which sounded strange given that the castle came nearly a decade after their honeymoon, but she honestly didn’t think there were many more times she had felt more like an actual princess.

(In fact, the only times she had she was fairly certain she was _actually_ a princess).

Raphaella had stolen hir for a brief moment during the competition for hir first wedding on a new planet and requested the honour of hir _second_. Even if Tim hadn’t already been inclined to agree, curiosity as to why Raphaella wanted hir second marriage would have had hir agreeing. (Jonny had won hir first marriage that time and given hir a beautiful set of silver daggers as a wedding gift).

After Tim and Jonny had inevitably gotten into a fight and decided they were done being married on this planet, Tim had gone looking for Raphaella. She’d managed to set herself up as the leader of a ...cult for lack of a better term. Regardless, she had somehow acquired a manor and was ruling over the associated land with her own iron rule.

When Tim had arrived she’d been tired, dirty, and honestly still pissed off at Jonny enough that she wasn’t in the mood to get married. Raphaella had taken one look at her and ordered all experiments stopped. She hadn’t even cared about marrying Tim really, but when the Vicar had nearly had a conniption she’d fetched Tim an absolutely gorgeous set of jewelry.

Apparently, Raphaella had requested Tim’s second marriage because she needed time to commission it. A lacing web of gold the same colour as Raph’s hair linked opal tipped studs for each of Tim’s piercings. The same metal wove a thicker web as it coiled down her arms to rings inlaid with the same opals that shone elsewhere. The pentacle of it all was the tiara so delicate it made Raphaella’s figure look hulking when she presented it to Tim.

That alone would have cemented the marriage’s place in Tim’s favourites. However, when Raphaella had proven herself serious about forsaking science to attend to Tim, well, there was a part of Tim that felt bad it was as far from her favourite as it was.

Raphaella had declared a holiday, that all of her people were to join her in celebrating the arrival of her bride-to-be, and then of her marriage. She hadn’t touched any Science beyond the study of how best to please Tim for the next month.

It was honestly one of Tim’s longest marriages, lasting for twelve years, seven months, and twenty-three days. In the end Raphaella had decided she was bored and wanted to explore the other side of the planet. Tim had stuck around for another two years, holding the reins of the land before Ashes had arrived with their own rings to present aer and taken over.

* * *

**The Time Brian Insisted on a Spa Day:**

Tim’s tenth favourite honeymoon was the time Brian decided he needed a spa day - or rather month.

Ze hadn’t had a particularly good day, week, month, year, or really century. The crew was planning to land on a planet for a couple of decades at least. His favourite dress had blood stains on it _and_ was missing a sleeve. Ze couldn’t figure out what their gender was - or rather it was changing without warning and quickly, leaving her dealing with dysphoria near constantly.

They had run out of Tim’s preferred brand of brandy a decade ago. One of the pipes had burst in her bathroom and flooded his room. Raphaella had kidnapped no less than 20 octokittens. And to top it all off, everything ze looked at, listened to, did, or thought reminded him of Bertie.

So Tim had, understandably not been in the mood for the crew's antics when they landed. They’d expected to have to make hir way through a mess of fighting, arguing, and cajoling to get anywhere. When she walked into the loading bay to see Ashes and Jonny talking amicably instead of getting ready to fight over his hand it should have been a relief.

Instead, ze burst into tears.

Both of them had been at their side in an instant, of course. Even if comfort wasn’t really their strengths, especially in Jonny’s case, they both would always try if she was upset. With how pissed off ze had already been at the two, they weren’t much help though.

Brian had slipped in while Jonny and Ashes were failing to comfort Tim and asked what was wrong. Somehow he’d managed to piece it together from Tim’s broken sobs.

He’d winced as he took Tim’s hands and pressed a kiss to hir knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” he’d told him sheepishly. “I actually asked if they’d mind not fighting. It seemed like you’ve been having a rough time and I had an idea. They agreed that I could steal your first marriage here. If you’d rather just go home with one of them I can fuck off.”

She’d accepted the answer though it’d taken a bit longer for hir to calm down.

Once they’d disembarked Brian had asked that ze meet him at the courthouse in a few hours while he made arrangements. At the time he’d assumed Brian was going to get rings.

Instead, it turned out that Brian had already booked them a stay at a private resort and spa for the next month. How he’d pulled that off Tim still wasn’t quite sure, but regardless they’d spent their honeymoon at one of the nicest hotels on the planet.

Brian had waited on hir hand and foot almost the entire time. She’d been showered with praises, fed delicacies by hand, offered the most beautiful ornaments, and, perhaps the most soothing, made love to.

By the time their honeymoon was up, Tim had practically glowed with pleasure. If they were forever a little annoyed by how much their time spent at the spa had helped settle them, that was their business and their business alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	5. Jonny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced dysfunctional relationship

**The Time Jonny Made Him a Wedding Dress:**

Tim had probably married Jonny and Ashes more times than any of the other Mechanisms. It made sense in a way he supposed. Ashes and Jonny were both a touch possessive - if one more so than the other. His relationships with them were also more like what he thought he would have considered the type to lead to marriage once.

It did drive the competition between them a bit higher though.

He might be worried if he didn’t know neither held a loss against the other - or him for that matter.

It was kind of funny in a way. He could pick his favourite wedding and honeymoon with each of them. They weren’t the same though.

Tim’s favourite wedding with Jonny would easily be the time Jonny had made his wedding dress.

Given that it was Jonny, Tim hadn’t known for sure that that’s what Jonny was doing. He’d known Jonny was making him a dress. He’d known that it was a Big Deal. He’d known that it was important to Jonny that he liked it.

He had suspected it was akin to a wedding dress.

He hadn’t gotten confirmation that it was until the next time he and Jonny had gotten married though.

It was probably one of the simplest weddings that Jonny had given him in all honesty, but Tim was capable of recognizing that he appreciated the simple weddings all the more. He didn’t count the times they just filed documents as weddings. They were nice and meant he got to be married, but they weren’t _weddings_.

And that made a difference.

Jonny had planned ahead when he made Tim his wedding dress though. Ashes must have been warned because they didn’t really try to win the competition. Marius had won that time and, after he got over his surprise, taken Tim on a whirlwind tour of the planet.

By the time they’d found themselves done with the tour they’d both been tired of it. Thankfully the planet they were on was fairly good about annulment so they were able to just part ways.

When Tim had walked out of the courthouse Jonny had been there waiting for aer.

His hair had been slicked back and tied off. His clothing new and, for once, not stained with blood. He still didn’t bother wearing a jacket, but he’d actually left both his sleeves down for once instead of flashing everyone constantly.

(Tim is aware that in most cultures showing off your bare arms or, heaven forbid, your _ankles,_ wasn’t considered sexual. That didn’t change the fact that he’d grown up with it being something incredibly revealing. Just because he’d mostly gotten used to the way Nastya was the only other one to cover up fully didn’t mean it didn’t affect him).

Jonny had flashed aer a smile and offered a bow before taking aer hand and brushing a kiss across aer knuckles.

“I’ll need a couple of weeks to finalize things, but would you allow me the honor of your hand in marriage, _mi cariño?”_

Tim had agreed and gone home with Jonny. That evening was when Jonny finally revealed the wedding dress to him. Everything else aside, the two weeks allowed time for the final fitting of aer dress - not that Jonny had needed it. The only adjustment Jonny had made was to add a few more embroidered flowers to the skirt.

Their honeymoon hadn’t been anything special.

They’d both ended up in tears a few times and got a few new scars for the rest of their stay on planet if only that.

Still, for Jonny to go to such lengths for aer made it special. He’d listened to enough of Jonny’s ranting about fixing their clothing to understand that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	6. Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced possessive behavior kinda

**The Time Ashes Gave Him a Volcano:**

Ashes was probably the member of the crew who'd been married the most after himself. It probably helped that even when neither Tim nor Jonny married them the others were quite happy to pick up the slack.

Marrying Ashes was a one way ticket to being spoiled, shown off, and taken _very_ good care off. When the trade offs were playing into Ashes possessiveness and occasionally having to demonstrate that they were in fact more than arm candy, there wasn't exactly a downside.

Tim's favourite honeymoon with Ashes was definitely the time they'd given him a volcano.

Normally, fire was more their thing than his. He enjoyed it, sure, but what he really liked was explosions. An active volcano was a rather nice way of combining their interests.

Raph had won his first marriage on that planet. They had been married for maybe a month before she’d gotten distracted by something to do with the oceans and he’d gotten involved in a guerilla war between two neighboring… families? If he understood what he’d been told correctly.

Somehow or another he’d ended up running into Brian and he was pretty sure they’d actually ended up ending the war because they decided to get married again.

That marriage had lasted for nearly a decade before Tim had started getting bored. Normally, Tim getting bored while he and Brian were married would end up in them heading into a warzone. This time, however, Brian just got him to pack up and drove them right into the heart of Ashes’s current empire.

Now, most of the time when the crew speaks of Ashes’s empire on this or that planet, they aren’t being literal. The vast majority of the time, Ashes sets up a criminal empire that, logically, has some strings to pull in the official governments, but is largely invisible to the average person. One occasion, they did seize control and build themselves a literal empire, naming themself the king or god or president or whatever of an expansive section of the planet.

This, was one of those occasion.

So when Tim and Brian headed into the heart of Ashes’s empire, they were heading straight for the ruling monarch of a kingdom that covered no less than a third of the planet’s surface - as well as a good portion of its satellites and below the surface.

Needless to say, Ashes’s security was _not_ happy when they arrived.

Ashes, on the other hand, found it amusing.

They had declared that openly defying every safeguard and security measure they had was a pleasing courting gift and they accepted...much to the horror of their security detail.

After that it was a whirlwind few months as wedding preparations for the living god of an empire were made. There were flowers and jewels and precious metals to pick, there were dresses and suits and other costuming to be fitted for, there were cakes to taste and appetizers to pick and wines to judge.

By the time they actually made it to the wedding Tim was fairly certain he wasn’t the only one questioning if it was worth it.

Of course, Ashes had picked up on that and so they had to blow any potential competition out of the water with their wedding gifts. So, they gave him a volcano.

They presented it to him with all the fanfare and gravitas of the living god they were painting themself as, of course. Given that it was _Ashes_ that did nothing to distract from the promise of more beautiful destruction than he had really ever managed to cause on his own.

The volcano they gave him _was_ a less violent one than he would have expected, or hoped for. He couldn’t argue their choice when they’d spent their wedding night making love to him mere feet from the mouth of the volcano though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	7. Jonny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- mention of dysfunctional relationships  
> \- implied/referenced communication issues

**The Time Jonny Proposed:**

The first time Jonny and Tim had gotten married had been a disaster. Tim had been pissed off and Jonny had been a nervous wreck. They’d split up within a month of signing the papers.

It honestly was the proposal that made it so precious to Tim.

Tim hadn’t been expecting it if ze was honest. There was no reason for hir to. Jonny didn’t exactly seem the sort to care for or about things like marriage.

Tim had never enjoyed being proven wrong so much before.

By the time Jonny asked hir to marry him, ze had married every other member of the crew ze was involved with. After they had gotten married the first couple of times, Brian had made a point to drag him to a courthouse everytime they landed on a planet for a while. This, of course, led to Ivy noticing and deciding that if Brian got to see her dressed up all pretty and blushing, and then got to take her home and make her scream his name, then she ought to as well.

From there it didn’t take long for Ashes to decide they wanted to show him off properly and an excuse to murder anyone who looked at him funny without getting any weird looks. At some point in that, Aurora had decided that she also wanted to be married to hir and they had ended up getting married.

All this goes to say that Jonny, secret romantic that he was, developed quite a jealous streak that everyone else got to marry Tim and he hadn’t.

(Tim, however, had not been privy to this until several centuries after the fact when he’d admitted as much, drunk and curled up between hir and Ashes).

His solution actually wasn’t to cause trouble until someone worked out what he wanted for once.

Instead, Jonny had made careful arrangements and grabbed Tim as they were preparing to disembark onto a new planet.

“I want to show you something; it’s on the other side of the planet though. Put on something nice and meet me in the hanger in an hour.”

He’d been gone before ze could figure out what he was planning. Tim still couldn’t tell you why ze’d actually gone along with his no doubt ridiculous and painful plan, but ze had.

When ze’d gotten to the hanger, Jonny had been waiting for hir, hair combed back and tied into two neat braids held in place by beaded bands unlike anything ze’d ever seen. He’d worn a simple suit, jacket open and tie forgotten. He’d remembered the vest though so ze supposed it was fine.

He’d been fidgeting when ze arrived.

“Jonny?”

His head shot up when ze called out to him. Even if ze was used to the stares ze got when ze dressed up, there was something about the open awe on his face that had hir blushing.

“Tim! You came! Er- I mean, of course you came. _Fuck. I had things all planned out and everything.”_

Ze’d hidden hir laugh behind a hand as best ze could.

As soon as ze was close enough, ze’d leaned down and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.

“What’s all this, then?”

Jonny had actually flushed some himself at that.

“Said I wanted to show you something, didn’t I?”

“You did. You didn’t say what though.”

He’d swallowed. “Maybe I want it to be a surprise.”

Ze had grinned. A surprise from Jonny was usually a good thing. At the very least he couldn’t lie well enough that it wasn’t obvious when the surprise he had was going to be annoying or painful.

“What are we waiting for then?”

Jonny had ducked his head for a moment before leading hir to one of the smaller ships they had. He’d even gone so far as to open the door hir like a proper gentleman.

By then, Tim had been starting to question just what was going on.

Ze hadn’t said anything, of course. If something was wrong with Jonny it wouldn’t help any to let on that ze had noticed. Ze had spent most of the journey down to the planet watching him and trying to figure out what was going on though.

As a result, ze hadn’t noticed the box with a delicate corsage sitting in the seat behind them until Jonny had asked hir to wait before getting out.

He’d reached back after ze acquiesced and grabbed it, carefully pulling the corsage out and offering it to hir.

“Here. It’s for you. Doesn’t match your outfit, I know, but I wasn’t sure what you’d wear and you mentioned that periwinkle was your favourite colour so I thought that it might work well enough.” he’d kept going, obviously nervous about whatever it was that he’d planned.

“Jonny. It’s beautiful. Put it on for me?”

He’d still been flushed as he fastened it to hir wrist.

He’d opened the door and helped hir out, only to escort hir into one of the nicest dining establishments ze’d ever been in. He’d treated hir to an absolutely decadent meal, complete with a brilliant performance that they hadn’t even had a hand in.

Ze’d finally managed to figure out what his game was when desert had arrived.

Sitting upon the cake ze’d decided to get, lay a beautiful ring inlaid with hundreds of diamonds.

By the time ze’d looked back up, intending to joke about the waiter mixing up orders apparently, Jonny had already been kneeling in front of hir. Ze had just gasped as hir mind finally made the connections between everything.

“Tim,” he’d murmured softly. “We’ve known each other for a long time, a lot of that hasn’t been good either. You know better than a lot of people just how poor a man I am. Somehow, you’ve deigned to not only tolerate my presence in your life, your bed, even your home at times, but you’ve also seen fit to seek me out when there was even a chance I could possibly offer you more than sorrow and pain. I- ...I would be honored if you would allow me the chance to learn to offer you more always.”

Tim had just stared for several long moments, heart beating wildly.

Finally, ze nodded.

 _“Fuck, Jonny._ I didn’t- I wouldn’t thought you’d ever be interested in- Yes. Just yes.”

They had decided to wait to get married for some idiotic reason. Instead, they’d spent the next year and a half making arrangements while slowly consolidating power into a criminal empire Ashes would have been proud of.

Of course, by the time they actually reached the wedding they’d had plenty of time to realize how little they both cared for playing the criminal overlord and begin resenting each other for it just a bit.

A simple mistake that Jonny hadn’t caught had resulted in Tim blowing up and Jonny working himself into a series of panic attacks the day before. It hadn’t been better the day of, nor had it gotten better in the weeks that followed.

By the time their one month anniversary had rolled around, they were both exhausted, pissed off, and ready to be done with the farce. They hadn’t even been able to hold it together well enough to coordinate how they wanted to bring down their empire.

Tim had sold the ring in a fit of petty revenge not even a week after they parted ways. She had come back to Aurora to find the carefully preserved corsage sitting on her bed with a set of sheet music though.

She’d been ready to rip Jonny a new one, still hurting from how thoroughly their marriage had fallen apart. Aurora had stopped her though.

Apparently, Jonny had come back to deliver the corsage and a song he’d written for her a week before they got married. He’d asked Aurora not to say anything about it to Tim because ae was already under a lot of stress and he just wanted to leave aer a surprise for when they got back since he didn’t think he’d be able to hold it together well enough that ae’d stay with him until they were ready to leave the planet.

She’d moved the corsage to the single shelf she’d had covered in keepsakes at the time and sat down to read the song he’d written for her even as they were fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	8. Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- references to "sex sells"  
> \- references to rape culture  
> \- kidnapping
> 
> Nothing actually happens, there's just some implications that things could have. Kidnapping is as consensual as it can be without prior warning.

**The Time Tim was a Goddess:**

Tim usually went by her own name when on planet. There were a few occasions that she’d used a different name though.

Most memorable, of course, was The City.

They had somehow ended up rubbing shoulders with an older Olympian named Demeter who took a liking to her.

Now, for an Olympians, Demeter was actually a halfway decent person. They certainly weren’t any saint. Unlike some other Olympians Tim could name, Demeter did actually make some effort to take care of the people in her family.

The specifics would take more time than Tim cares to ever spend remembering them, but somehow or another ae ended up agreeing to let Demeter adopt aer.

Of course, after Demeter adopted aer, it was a simple matter of discussion to determine that going by Tim would really just draw more attention than Tim had any interest in dealing with. Which then led to the selection of the name Persephone.

Then of course, there was the matter of Demeter’s actual business. She may not have controlled quite as much as Zeus or Hades did in The City, but she did have _quite_ the hold on, well, on pretty much the entirety of the agricultural industry. If you wanted to eat in the City, then you were going to be sending money their way.

Given that the newly named Persephone didn’t have any objections to being involved in the business, it was an obvious solution to put aer beauty to work and let the fools dumb enough to think themselves special fall over themselves trying to play her.

Of course, as the face of Demeter Industries, Persephone often found aerself dining and meeting with the likes of “ _Don”_ Zeus and, more pleasurably, Hades.

No amount of cajoling would get Ashes to share just what Zeus had said, reasoned, or threatened that convinced Hades to kidnap her and steal her away. Though, to be fair, it wasn’t like Persephone had really fought once ae realized who it was that had arranged the attack. Ae’d been getting tired of playing the part of “Persephone, Demeter’s beautiful and dutiful daughter, Prude Extraordinaire.”

(Given that she regularly visited Brian and Marius both, not to mention that she’d been all but begging Ashes to fuck her over the confrence room tables since she met Hades, she would never understand where that last one had come from).

The point is, that Tim had absolutely no issue with aer most demonstrative partner kidnapping aer and settling aer into their household where ae didn’t have to deal with anyone ae didn’t want to.

Of course, Demeter hadn’t taken the kidnapping of one of her family members - let alone the face of her entire operation - very well. That Zeus had apparently decided to taunt her about it, even going so far as to reveal that he had been the one to convince Hades to do so, had only further exacerbated the issue.

That Tim hadn’t particularly wanted to go back to being Persephone, or at least not Persephone, adopted-daughter of Demeter, hadn’t helped matters.

Eventually Ashes had gotten annoyed with Demeter’s decision to cause issues and invited her to dinner. Which Tim was required to attend if only to inform Demeter that ae didn’t want to deal with being a part of the family business anymore.

Somehow, the actual result of that conversation was that aer and Ashes were getting married.

That wedding, more than any other, made it quite clear to Tim just how little ae cared to deal with weddings for the point of the public. By and far, it was the most ornate wedding ae’d had.

She did still have the gown they had commissioned for aer. Gorgeous thing that she was fairly certain they paid more than some planets were worth for. Ae’d had to spend more than a month in the fittings alone.

Ae had considered making a point about how much more ae liked the dress Jonny made for aer by the time they _finally_ got married. Ae had refrained, though only because Ashes had joked to remind them to never commission anyone except Jonny or aer preferred tailor again if the most lauded tailor inthe City couldn’t manage to make aer a dress ae actually liked.

Instead ae had said they could make it up to aer once aer mother let them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	9. The Mechanisms and Nastya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- mention of relationship issues  
> \- references to relationship exploration/negotiation  
> \- mildly graphic gore and violence, description of murder
> 
> Tim and Nastya get married in this chapter. At the time of their marriage Tim is a girl and she and Nastya give having a relationship of their own a try before concluding it doesn't work.

**The Time the Entire Crew Got Married:**

A part of Tim felt like he should count the one time the entire crew had gotten married as his favourite. Well, he says that the entire crew got married, but that wasn’t entirely accurate the way most people understood it.

They’d found this little out of the way planet that didn’t exactly do _marriage._ They called it marriage, sure, but it could just as easily have been called adoption.

What they did was allow people (as defined in Soyin’s Ethics Code v1952) to register any number of other people as their next of kin with the right to inherit, medical decisions, cover you on their insurance, etc. Basically, all of the things covered in marriage on most planets, fell under this planet’s “marriage.”

What made this planet weird was that there was no assumption as to the type of relationship you had with your registered spouses.

Needless to say, Tim had fallen a bit in love with the idea of having his attachment to the rest of the crew recognized while he was on planet. And they’d only gotten Nastya back a couple of centuries prior. And Marius had either gotten trapped in a prison or lost in time for a while. And Ashes had been enamoured with never having someone try to argue that the crew were theirs. And Lyf had spent nearly a millennia trapped in a dreamscape. And-

Well, the point is that the entire crew had been convinced.

So they had registered a “marriage.” They’d had to fill out a truly horrifying amount of paperwork to do so, but they had. Then they’d spend nearly an entire day trading a slightly ridiculous number of crisscrossing vows.

By the time they were done, Tim had nine new rings, Lyf had upped the number of their braids from four to nine, and Brian had the remains of nine different bindings on his wrists. Additionally, Ivy had the designs for ten new tattoos, Jonny had eight locks of “hair” bound and tucked in a new locket, and Raphaella had a necklace woven of ten different metals. On top of that, Marius had a new ledger with nine names in it,Nastya had three new crowns, and Ashes had nine new ribbon bracelets.

Neither TS nor Aurora had gotten anything new, but then neither of them had any wedding traditions they still hung onto. Instead they took pleasure in the traditions gifted to them from their crew.

With their vows complete, Nastya had laughed and kissed Ivy and Raphaella. “Come join Aurora and I when you’re done with your husbands and spouses. The rest of you have fun.” She hadn’t given any of them time to actually respond before she’d disappeared back into Aurora.

TS had saluted them and stolen a few kisses before disappearing with the promise that Brian would come get it when they were done with the activities it’d prefer to not be present for. It’d have food and drink and no doubt a variety of other comforts ready to shower them with in the morning when it trusted them to be exhausted enough it wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward reactions when it demanded cuddling.

Tim had spent the night being passed around. By the time he’d stumbled into the house that TS had acquired, he’d kissed and made love with every one of his newly renewed spouses. (Well, those that had any interest in having sex with him, at least).

* * *

**The Time Nastya Murdered the Priest:**

The time Nastya murdered the priest officiated was probably one of her favourite weddings as well. A part of her felt bad that she would rank it as her sixth favourite when it was probably her least enjoyable marriage.

She held nothing against Nastya, but Tim was quite happy to leave their relationship at metamours or in-laws depending on how you looked at it. She could appreciate the effort that Nastya had gone to to ensure that Tim would still receive a wedding once they landed though.

It was the first time they’d be spending more than a day or two on a planet since Brian had banned Tim from marrying Jonny and Ashes at the same time and Tim had been a girl for the past few weeks with no sign of that changing anytime soon. None of the others had made any mention of wedding plans and with how angry Brian had been (he had actually threatened to flip his own switch) after the last time Tim wasn’t expecting to get one for at least another two centuries.

Nastya had stopped by her room just as Brian and Aurora had announced they were entering the atmosphere. She’d asked if Tim preferred silver or titanium and told her to wear something pretty.

Tim had been too busy wallowing over being forced to get a divorce to really care what Nastya had been planning. She’d told Nastya she preferred titanium (she somehow manages to bend silver anything) and objected to being told what to wear. Nastya had just brushed her off, saying that she didn’t much care but she figured Tim would prefer they be dressed nicely.

Even with that comment (and Aurora’s encouragement that Tim really would want to be wearing something pretty), Tim hadn’t bothered to give any thought to what Nastya was planning. When she’d walked into the loading bay she’d been surprised to see Nastya wearing an elegant suit rather than her usual engineers' coveralls.

Jonny had been questioning Nastya on what the hell she was planning when Tim got there. Presumably Nastya had been waiting to see if Tim would play along because that was when she finally gave him a straight answer.

“Jonny, you are my brother and I love you dearly. However, I _will_ be stealing your lovely wife upon planetfall.”

Nastya had crossed over to Tim and offered her a hand with a flourish while Jonny was busy gapping. When Tim took it, Nastya had pressed a kiss to her knuckles and slid a ring onto her finger. “I would be quite happy to claim your first marriage on this planet if you’d allow.”

Tim had nodded, her cheeks flushed. Once they disembarked Nastya had escorted her to the nearest location that marriages were ordained.

It had turned out to be a church and Nastya had been forced to pull a gun on the priest before he would marry them. He’d been shaking and crying the entire time, but had made it through a set of quickly improvised vows promising to take care of each other and not murder each other for at least a year.

Once they’d asked for the paperwork he’d snapped and started railing on them though. Tim had long since blocked out most of whatever bullshit he’d spewed at them. It had pissed Nastya off to high heaven though. Before Tim could really react she’d pulled a knife from...somewhere and was slitting the priests throat.

The blood spray had ruined the silk dress Tim was wearing as well as Nastya’s suit.

Nastya had sawed through the priest’s neck until she could remove his head and presented it to Tim. She hadn’t seemed like she expected it to be that impressive a gift, but hopefully.

Tim had burst into giggles. She’d been a part of the crew long enough by that point in time to have gotten used to more ...violent forms of affection. Jonny’s catlike habit of delivering corpses to the people he liked had gotten her started on that even before Bertie had died.

Preserving a human head hadn’t gone very well and had led to Nastya and Tim’s first fight. After they left the planet and Tim went to add the three rings she’d received over the course of the half century they were there to her memoria, Nastya had appeared. She’d presented Tim with the blade that had done the wretched deed for her collection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


	10. Brian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- sorta implied/referenced police state?

**The Second Time He Married Brian:**

Tim’s favourite wedding with Brian would have to be the second time they got married. It was also the third time he'd gotten married.

The first time hadn't been extravagant or really a wedding at all. They'd gotten arrested while Tim was rather drunk and Brian had been looking at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. The intake officer had assumed they were newlyweds and Tim had giggling said yes. Then proceeded to ask if they could help them file the paperwork here, because "the immigration person kept saying that's not how it works?"

The next morning, Tim hadn't been able to stop smiling after the officer handed over a marriage certificate for Mr. and Mx. Brian and Tim Málóid. She'd hung off of Brian for the rest of the day excitedly talking about everything that came to mind. (If it had mainly been about weddings and marriage and domestic bliss she and Bertie never got then that was just a coincidence).

They'd been escorted to a housing development and given a lecture about making sure they were home before curfew lest they get caught by the street sweepers. They’d also been given the personal comm codes of no less than 3 officers who lived in the neighborhood and would be happy to help them with anything they needed while they settled in.

(To this day they remained the only cops Tim had ever met that weren't bastards. Though that might have been primarily because they may or may not have actually been cops).

A year later Brian had a job working with the local fire brigade and Tim was working at a repair shop owned by the wife of one of the officers that'd brought them to the neighborhood. Amara, hir boss, Jude, the officer who'd got them the marriage certificate, and Jude's partner Mica had been waiting for hir when ze got off work. The three had bustled hir home to shower then into the city to go dress shopping.

They'd ended up at a bridal store where Tim had caved and bought the ridiculous princess dress when the seamstress had threatened to give it to hir instead. Ze'd still managed to miss Amara slipping back in to purchase the matching veil along with a daffodil and ivy crown.

When they’d gotten back home Jude and Mica had insisted that Tim stay over with them and Amara had tagged along insisting that Alex, her spouse, wouldn’t mind. They’d all gotten drunk and gossiped and had a great time. It had almost made Tim cry with memories of Bertie’s sisters insisting that he deserved a proper bachelorette’s party if he wanted one regardless of whether he was going to be a bride or groom.

(If Tim ended up spilling hir entire life story to Mica after Jude and Amara passed out then that was hir business and hir business alone. The fact that Brian had done the same a month earlier was helpful though).

The next morning Tim had been bustled through one of the happiest dressings ze’d ever experienced. Telling Mica about hir life story paid off because Mica somehow managed to fast talk Jude and Amara out of questioning why Tim’s wedding traditions were different from the planet ze and Brian were supposedly from.

(Tim should have realized what was going on then, but somehow ze didn’t).

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” A silly little rhyme about what a bride should wear on her wedding day for good luck, but Tim’s mums had always been the superstitious sort and even if they hadn’t been able to attend any of his weddings, he always made sure to observe it for them.

A new wedding dress (and the revealed veil and crown) was something new. The old wedding ring hir Ma had made hir Mum was something old. Mica and Jude had proceeded to have a conversation with their eyes as Tim had explained that things could overlap. A few moments later when Amara had begun doing hir make-up and Mica was changing into her own dress Jude had come back from their room.

“My father made this for my dad as a proposal gift. He never really got to wear it, what with everything happening in Granier at the time, but they passed it down to me.”

Jude set the box they had brought down on the table and opened it to reveal a beautiful festoon necklace made of sodalite and titanium. Jude explained that in traditional _Kiefes_ culture like their fathers had grown up in, it represented a hope for success and long life.

Once Tim agreed that those were good things to wish a prospective spouse, Jude insisted ze borrow it for the day and put it on hir. It didn’t take much longer for the group of them to finish getting ready, even with Tim still not realizing what was happening.

They insisted that ze put the veil on as well before leading hir out. They all walked back to Tim and Brian’s house where Tim could hear talking and soft music. Amara pulled off and ran ahead just as they came around the corner.

A soft tune that Tim recognized from when the Jones’s granddaughter had gotten married a few months ago began playing. Mica and Jude took an arm each and escorted Tim into hir backyard.

Ze gasped when ze saw it. Lights had been strung into a canopy and tables had been arranged around the (empty) fire pit. Whitney, who’d lived in the neighborhood for over 60 years and decided to treat hir and Brian like his children, stood in front of it with Brian.

Brian. Brian looked gorgeous. This was long before Raphaella joined the crew so he didn’t have any silicon options, but the brass of his skin had been polished to a shine. He wore a dark suit that shimmered like the void of space. A crown of daffodils and ivy was placed on his own head, a perfect match to the one in Tim’s own hair.

As soon as Jude and Mica let go of Tim, Brian reached out and took hir hands, bringing them up to press a kiss against the knuckles. In the lilting _Gaelic_ that they’d both learned at the last planet they were on, Brian explained.

_“You said you wanted to have a summer wedding with a dress you couldn’t justify and fairylights you couldn’t afford. That you wanted to be surrounded by people ready to call you family and give vows that would hold for years. I know I’m not the man you had dreamed of having that with, but I’ve enjoyed every second of our time here - even stopping you from burning the house down three times a day. For the rest of eternity I’ll consider it an honour to have been your husband.”_

_“On the planet I came from, marriages are blessed with a handfasting ceremony, so that both parties come together as equals and may part the same. I would call you my spouse regardless of world or time as long as you allow. Will you marry me again Tim? Properly this time?”_

Tim hadn’t been able to speak, choking on tears as ze was. Ze could only nod, pulling hir hands back to lift hir own veil. Ze threw hir arms around Brian as ze jumped up slightly to kiss him.

Brian gathered hir into his arms as he kissed back. A cheer had gone up around them.

When he set Tim back on hir feet Brian only pulled back a hair. Smiling he told hir that he’d taught Whitney the process and he’d agreed to conduct the ceremony for them, this time in Common.

With tears of joy Tim had asked what they were waiting for.

Whitney had laughed before leading them through the ceremony. They’d given their vows, returning once more to _Gaelic_ so that they could make promises they didn’t want to explain to those witnessing their union. Rings were exchanged and their clasped hands were bound together.

That day they’d danced and laughed and drank, before retiring to their wedding bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
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	11. His Favourites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- communication issues  
> \- implied/referenced family issues (it's not a bad situation, just. not ideal)  
> \- brief implied/referenced transphobia  
> \- mention of drafts and like. the opposite of draft dodging?

**His Favourites: The First Time and the Time Ashes Didn’t Propose:**

Tim’s favourite two marriages were difficult to pick between. Any time he tried he ended up feeling guilty - as though he was lessening the one by preferring the other over it. Despite his preferences, they were probably the two marriages he had the least keepsakes from. Though to be fair, he’d left both behind him in a fiery explosion.

All he had to physically mark the impact they made on him was two sets of rings. One tarnished steel, the inscriptions long since worn away from his tracing them. He couldn’t bear to risk letting someone redo them. “I love you” on one, and “I know” on the other. The other was a set of three, polished titanium and silver inlaid with intertwining bands of lead, gunpowder, and wood, all coated in a near invisible layer of diamond.

* * *

The titanium and silver was from the one time Ashes, Jonny, and Tim had all gotten married.

Honestly, if they’d ever gotten to get married again it would have quickly lost any claim to his favourites. Since they had promptly been banned from marrying each other without a fourth person involved to act as a buffer though, it did get to keep the title as one of his favourite weddings.

Ashes hadn’t bothered to ask them properly even if they’d commissioned the rings specifically for the three of them.

They’d left the box on their bed when they went hunting for Tim and Jonny after Aurora took off from the plant. They hadn’t explained or even mentioned it when the three of them made it back to the room finally.

Tim wasn’t actually all that sure Ashes would have ever shown them if Jonny hadn’t decided to open it. Even if Ashes was absolutely sure of themself constantly, they got weirdly touchy about the oddest things.

Jonny had grabbed the box though, and opened it.

He just froze for a moment.

Just as Tim was getting ready to start asking questions, Ashes reached over and took the box back. They didn’t say anything, just shut it and tossed it back on their bed.

Jonny was mouthing off almost the second they took it from his hands, blatantly trying to cover up his bruised heart. He hadn’t even quieted when they had forced him to bend over their desk.

Between Jonny’s obvious hurt and Ashes’s avoidance of it, Tim was getting nervous. He hadn’t known what to think of it - Ashes ignoring Jonny’s distress was incredibly out of character. So he’d asked them what was in the box.

“A present,” was the only reply he got.

It had seemed to shake Ashes out of whatever had come over them though because they’d leaned down to kiss Jonny’s shoulder.

“Just because I forgot something on the bed, doesn’t mean it’s for you, Jonny. I wasn’t ready to discuss that yet.”

Jonny had nodded. “Okay,” he whispered, relaxing into their hold.

With that’ Ashes had ordered them both stripped and set to utterly wrecking them.

It was only several hours later, after both of them were limp and Ashes had cleaned them up that Tim had gotten to find out what it was. He and Jonny were both cuddled up to Ashes, fucked out enough to just enjoy the closeness.

Ashes stopped petting them for a moment, reaching over to grab the box from where they’d stuck it on their bedside table. They dropped it on his stomach before tipping their head back to look at the ceiling.

“Here. Since Jonny already saw you might as well look too.”

He’d hesitated for a moment, the tension in their frame betraying their nervousness about it. The way Jonny was watching him, hope guarded but still visible to Tim at least, was what convinced him to open it.

Inside lay three matching rings.

He could recognize the interlocking titanium and silver. Several of the first few rings he’d got from both Ashes and Jonny were silver though they’d long since stopped trying to give him silver rings. He knew that most of the time they got married they still exchanged silver rings though. Inlaid in the bands were three stranded braids, each strand a different material. The light glinted off of the rings at just the right angle for him to recognize that they were coated in a layer of crystal.

His head had shot up to stare at Ashes as soon as he’d processed what they were.

“Are these for us?” He almost hadn’t wanted to ask, scared that they’d say no despite how many times they’d asked for his hand in marriage already.

“They can be.”

He could just barely recognize the flush on their cheeks and only because he could see the tips of their ears darken.

“If the two of you want them. Got them commissioned before we left Iskindi. So uh. Not a big deal if you don’t want them.”

Needless to say, both he and Jonny had said yes. It had taken a bit to get there, mainly convincing Jonny that yes, Ashes was actually serious about wanting to marry them both. That the ring Ashes had commissioned was a perfect fit for him had finally convinced him after Tim got annoyed and just put it on him.

The next time they’d stayed on a planet, Ashes hadn’t even bothered acknowledging the others. They’d just had just grabbed both Jonny and Tim and proceeded to start taking over the underworld.

It had ended up taking nearly two years before they had a strong enough base that they were ready and willing to turn their attention to wedding planning. They had made up for it with their honeymoon though.

Their wedding had been completely over the top.

Normally, Tim would have been just a touch irritated at that, but in this case, Ashes had taken care to make it very clear to their underlings that they expected everything to be done to Tim’s specifications regardless of what traditions or opinions others might hold. As a result, it had been much less exhausting to handle than most.

It still was, of course. It was tolerable enough that getting to marry Jonny and Ashes at the same time hadn’t been marred by it though. And he hadn’t complained too much given that at the time he’d expected to spend most of his future excursions on planets married to the both of them.

Of course, given that their honeymoon had involved blowing up a sun, that hadn’t panned out. Still, Tim quite enjoyed being married to the two of them even if he wasn’t inclined to maintain their marriage after they left that system.

* * *

The steel came from his first marriage.

It hadn’t been much of a wedding if he was honest. It was planned in a hurry, most of the people who should have been there hadn’t, and it had been as much about convenience as anything.

That wasn’t to say that he’d only gotten married for convenience. His first marriage had been to his first love after all. He supposed that’s part of why it still held a special place in his heart more than ten millennia later.

After several of Bertie’s college friends had begun ragging on him about not having an anniversary they had ended up picking a random date that neither of them had any objections to and calling it their anniversary. The one problem with having been childhood best friends who simply transitioned to lovers when the time was right was, as far as either of them were concerned, they had simply always been together.

Neither of them had been able to deny that they’d enjoyed having a day they could get away with designating for the two of them after though.

It also provided a convenient setting for Bertie to propose.

Candlelit dinner that Bertie had somehow gotten the recipe for Tim’s mum’s steak and kidney pie for. He’d somehow managed to get strawberries and cocoa to make pudding with as well. And then like the romantic sap he was, he got down on one knee and asked Tim to marry him.

Two weeks later his draft papers had arrived.

Tim had ended up on the older couple that lived above them’s couch crying while Bertie was out trying to see if there was a way for him to get excused without having to incur a serious enough injury that he wouldn’t be able to work for several months. He couldn’t remember their names anymore, just that they had been a sweet couple old enough to be his and Bertie’s grandparents, but still quite active in the club scene.

They had been the ones to listen to his upset fears and to share with him that there was a bit of a loophole to the draft stealing Bertie away from him. They’d get some side eyes and might have to ask some people to testify that they had only moved the date up, but if they were married before Bertie shipped out to basic, then Tim could enlisted and they’d be placed in the same unit as soon as the paperwork could be filed.

So, once they’d confirmed that the rule was still on the books, they’d done just that.

They’d had to scramble to make arrangements for Bertie’s sisters and Tim’s aunt to attend, to get what friends would be able to attend the time off, to arrange for a judge to witness and file their certificate. They had managed to pull it together in the short amount of time they had though.

The night before their appointment with the judge, Bertie’s sisters and a few of their friends had commandeered their flat to give him a bachelorette party. The rest of their friends that could make it had stolen Bertie away with the promise that they wouldn’t try to drag him to any burlesque clubs or the like, no matter how tempting watching him complain about it was.

Safe in the knowledge that even if it wasn’t the wedding of his dreams, by the following evening he’d be wed to the love of his life, Tim had gotten drunk on cheap box wine and listened as everyone who was married gave him advice on how to make his honeymoon (short as it would be) the best possible. He hadn’t had the heart to tell his well-meaning friends just how useless their advice was at this point in his life was.

The next day, Tim had dressed in his Sunday best amidst the teasing jabs and fussing about make-up not being quite right. That was the scene his aunt had arrived to be greeted by.

Unlike most of the time she walked in to find him in less than proper situations, she’d just shook her head at him and hugged him close. She’d been about as soft as he’d seen her since he started school as she presented him with a beautiful bouquet of hydrangea and tiger lilies, as well as her own veil from some thirty years prior.

“I know that it’s a fair bit out of date and no doubt a far cry from what you wanted, but you’re welcome to borrow it if you still want a veil for your wedding.”

Tim had never got on the best with his aunt, but she had done her best to raise a child she really didn’t have anything in common with save his late mother without forcing him to be the type of person she’d have liked to call her nibling. He still had been incredibly touched that she’d gone out of her way to make sure he had his “something borrowed, something blue” for his wedding. (He knew for a fact that her veil had been in storage with the rest of the relics from her marriage since Tim was eight and it would not have been a simple matter for her to get back to fetch it out).

It made the gesture even more touching that she was also providing him with his “something old, something new.”

With his aunt taking charge, it didn’t take much longer to get everyone ready and out the door. It was after they had started the walk down to the courthouse that he had realized he never asked her to give him away.

Even if they had little to nothing in common, she had still raised him and loved him and done her best to do right by him. Even millennia later he could still remember the day she’d made her support of him clear as though it was yesterday.

Like any proper lady, she’d made a point to maintain an appearance of supporting a variety of charities even if some of them she thought were a bit pointless. Logically, he’d had to make a showing of charitable work even if she never pushed him on the _variety_ part.

In a fit of teenage rebellion, she’d decided that if she had to spend her time on charity work then she was going to make her aunt work with charities she knew she hated. Which, of course, led to one of her aunt’s so-called friends making a snide remark about her upbringing and then, when Tim had tried to defend her mothers and aunt, a cruel remark on her own mental well-being.

He had already forgotten the exact insult she’d been dealt by the time he got married, only remembering that his aunt’s “friend” had implied that her genderfuidity was a sign that she was insane. What he did remember clearly, was the way his aunt had taken them to task.

The point here is that Tim’s aunt had made an honest effort to be a good guardian to him even if she was ill-suited to raising him in particular, and that she knew him well enough to recognize that it pained him to have not only forgotten to ask her to walk him down the aisle, but that there was no aisle for her to walk him down.

Her solution had been simple.

She would give him away, of course, but Bertie’s youngest sister, being the fastest runner (and the only member of Tim’s entourage not wearing heels for that matter), would run ahead of them once they got close to the courthouse and clear out a bit of a path in the hallway for her to walk Tim down.

It worked surprisingly well, and, when they arrived, Bertie was standing at the end of a makeshift aisle waiting for him.

Slightly worn trousers and a no-longer-white shirt, a forget-me-not tucked into his buttonhole, he should have made a bit of a pitiful sight. He was the most beautiful thing he had seen in that moment.

Bertie’s eyes hadn’t left him once as his aunt led him down the hall.

Under the direction of the judge, they’d exchanged rings they really couldn’t afford, but had spent the past year skimping and saving for. They’d exchanged vows that time had long since muddied too much for him to be confident he could remember.

Once they had signed the paperwork and the judge confirmed they were free to go as a married couple, they’d made their way back to their flat. It had taken some pleading and they’d been the butt of more than a few jokes, but they’d managed to convince everyone to leave and enjoy their day sooner rather than later.

That night, they had made love more tenderly and desperately than they ever had before. They kept going, exchanging pleasure readily until they finally collapsed after the sun had risen the next morning.

Tim’s first wedding and honeymoon may not have been the most extravagant or the longest. It may have marked the start of the last chapter of his life with Bertie as much as the start of his first marriage. It may not have been anything like how he imagined it to be.

It still managed to be perfect though.

It was perfect because he was marrying his best friend. It was perfect because when he enlisted he signed his name as Timothy _Griffin_ instead of Timothy _der Mondhohenzollern_. It was perfect because for 5 years he got to call Bertie his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that. we come to an end. This took. so much longer than it should have. I am not cut out for writing fluff. It only works well when I'm writing it to balance out angst I already wrote.  
> Kudos to anyone who identifies what the decision I made that I've been cackling like a supervillain over since is.
> 
> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


End file.
